Falling

As a child, I've always had this fear of heights. I could not stand being in high places, it always made my heart race and not to mention, it never failed to make me shut my eyes. I recall the time we went to Hong Kong and rode the cable cars. I was very excited to get on it but when I was already inside, I was glued to my seat. It didn't help that my uncles were scaring me and pretending to throw my beloved Pink Panther stuffed toy out the window. I hated carnival rides that have anything to do with heights. The very first time I rode a rollercoaster was 5 summers ago, it was in Circus Circus, Las Vegas. If it was not for my mother forcing me to get on it, I would never have had the guts to walk over there and ride it. After that, other rollercoasters came along with other high rides in either Disney Land, Knott's Berry Farm,or Universal Studios.

The main reason for this fear would be my fear of falling. When I was still a kid, I remember falling off a slide after somebody promised to catch me at the bottom, that didn't really hurt but the fear was there. And ever since, I was scared of heights and falling.

I was watching City of Angels yesterday, a favorite movie of mine and there was a part there where they talked about falling. Once you make up your mind, you just decide to fall, you take the leap, you take the plunge and then you fall... I guess it's the same thing when you fall in love. Once given an opportunity, you take the risk, you take the chance, you fall in love.

Falling in love is never easy, it is like stepping off a steep cliff unto the jagged rocks below, or jumping off a sky scraper unto the busy streets. The risk is great but still, with this in mind, why do people still fall into this dangerous trap? I've seen a lot of movies with people falling in love, going against all odds for the person they thought was their soul mate... and in the end, things just do not work out... and in the end... everything turns out futile.
At the same time, falling in love can be a blessing, like the joy you get when you go on a ride and feel the wind on your face. The enlightenment you attain when you see that person, the inspiration you gather from him... and who knows... things may work out.

I guess one can never tell what the outcome of this decision would be. One will never know unless one will take the risk, take a step further and decide to fall, fall into the unknown, into the abyss not knowing what is in store. An opportunity cost... something we have to take.

Falling in love, I guess I will never understand the concept of this, or maybe, it was never meant to be understood. The risk of whatever outcome you may get, the fear, the doubts, the failure, and the fulfillment... all of these from one step, all from one plunge.

The sun slowly retreated behind the clouds as the sky took on a blue hue. She finally made her decision, she was going to tell him. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and she turned around... he was gone. Her tears fell that day but no one was there to see...


...::Jacqueline::...