Sacrifices

It's rather funny how you can act on impulse when it comes to someone special. Going out of your way to be able to help them, sacrificing time, effort, heck, even gas to be able to be there for them. Sacrifice. A word with so much meaning to it from what I think. This word which entails such love, yet at the same time, pain. To be able to sacrifice something for the one you care about, to be able to accept the pain that these sacrifices would give you. It really is amazing I guess.

I have to admit, it's personally hard to stand there and sacrifice your time for something you could care less about just because that person asked you to. I can't help but feel stupid about all of these things. Why? Well because maybe that particular person only sees me as someone he can approach when he needs something and not when he has a problem or what not. Someone who's only there to ask for help or the such, I guess that really is my only role in this world. Though what's stupid is, even if I know this fact, I just can't help but still help. Yes, as a friend had mentioned just earlier user friendly how right are his choice of words. I remember a talk I had with the same friend weeks ago. "The thing is, there's still hope. You're still hoping for something more to happen" I guess that's why I go through these things... hoping against hope even though I know that there is someone else.

Sacrifices... I guess I'll just be here, sacrificing to be able to help? Maybe... though this is all getting tiring really.



...::Jacqueline::...

Lost

Lately, I've found myself feeling lost. It seems as if my life has lost its direction for some reason. Drifting farther from the right path, I sometimes find myself alone in the dark, not a light in sight... maybe one but it seems hundreds and hundreds of miles away. The distance only making it seem futile to try to reach it even though I know that if I try hard enough, I'll find myself on the right path. Yes the very path that i've been looking for. It just seems as if there are so many things blocking me from that path. So many twist and turns, so many barricades, so many distractions.

It's happening once again it seems. As I was telling a friend earlier, I found myself in the same situation years ago. No clue on what's going on, no idea on what to do with my life. It can really get hard at times. Now to further expound on all of this, I am pertaining to losing my touch with the one up there... yes, Him. Like before, everything seems so routinary already that it gets tiring. Going to masses, saying prayers and the like. It has lost its meaning once again and I do not know or understand why. Devils at my feet it seems, dragging me down to oblivion where I will truly lose sight of Him... but that is surely something I will not allow.

I guess there is just some points in your life when you lose sight of Him. When everything seems futile, when it seems as if the world has turned its back on you and you think he has too. Though I know it is a mistake to think so, at times, it just can not be helped. Realizations now hit me though after talking to my friend. He's a hundred percent correct though... God will always be here to take me in once again and that is what I intend to do. Turn back on my sins and short comings to be with Him once more.

Yes, I will search for that path once more and when I find it, I will not lose sight of it again. I do not care if getting there could kill me, if there are demons in the way, cliffs, storms, darkness... I will gladly brave all of these obstacles just to be able to be with Him once more. To be with my Father and my older Brother. A conviction in which I will stray true to. A promise... a promise of searching for the right path again, the one which will lead me back to Them.



...::Jacqueline::...

Falcondance

“Falcondance”. Not an original name I would have to admit. I have borrowed this title from the third book of one of my favorite authors, Ms. Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. A truly wonderful writer who, as obvious as it may seem, captured my interest with her unique twists and turns in her creations. With this, I salute her and give her due respect for the name I have borrowed.

Falcondance… Falcon dance… this name which just conveys such a simple yet wonderful imagery. A Falcon, a bird of predation, one with such beauty, pride, elegance and mystique, soaring in the sky, into the deep blues and pale whites of the heavens. Soaring with such grace and agility, the flowing movements which just makes it seem as if it were dancing. The dark brown, black, and white hues of the feathers, glistening under the mid-day sun as it soars, and the small form glowing silver under the cornflower blue moon. Gliding though the skies, feeling the gentle breeze about its tiny form, swooping down to touch the gentle waves of the oceans. Dancing in the star filled skies, fighting against the harsh winds, the violent storms, and even other predators. Yes, truly a creature of wonder and mystique.

And with that, I end my short introduction, hoping it has peaked some of your interest and queries about the name I have chosen. Till the next post…



...::Jacqueline::...