Lost

Lately, I've found myself feeling lost. It seems as if my life has lost its direction for some reason. Drifting farther from the right path, I sometimes find myself alone in the dark, not a light in sight... maybe one but it seems hundreds and hundreds of miles away. The distance only making it seem futile to try to reach it even though I know that if I try hard enough, I'll find myself on the right path. Yes the very path that i've been looking for. It just seems as if there are so many things blocking me from that path. So many twist and turns, so many barricades, so many distractions.

It's happening once again it seems. As I was telling a friend earlier, I found myself in the same situation years ago. No clue on what's going on, no idea on what to do with my life. It can really get hard at times. Now to further expound on all of this, I am pertaining to losing my touch with the one up there... yes, Him. Like before, everything seems so routinary already that it gets tiring. Going to masses, saying prayers and the like. It has lost its meaning once again and I do not know or understand why. Devils at my feet it seems, dragging me down to oblivion where I will truly lose sight of Him... but that is surely something I will not allow.

I guess there is just some points in your life when you lose sight of Him. When everything seems futile, when it seems as if the world has turned its back on you and you think he has too. Though I know it is a mistake to think so, at times, it just can not be helped. Realizations now hit me though after talking to my friend. He's a hundred percent correct though... God will always be here to take me in once again and that is what I intend to do. Turn back on my sins and short comings to be with Him once more.

Yes, I will search for that path once more and when I find it, I will not lose sight of it again. I do not care if getting there could kill me, if there are demons in the way, cliffs, storms, darkness... I will gladly brave all of these obstacles just to be able to be with Him once more. To be with my Father and my older Brother. A conviction in which I will stray true to. A promise... a promise of searching for the right path again, the one which will lead me back to Them.



...::Jacqueline::...